Online counselling for women · Inner critic, people-pleasing & self-compassion
For women who are kind to everyone but themselves.
You may be capable, thoughtful and there for everyone else, while privately living with a harsh inner critic, guilt about saying no, or a quiet sense of never being quite enough.
I offer warm, person-centred online counselling across the UK, helping you understand the different parts of yourself and build a kinder relationship with who you are.
£50 per 50-minute session · Monday to Thursday evenings · BACP Registered Counsellor
Does any of this feel familiar?
Perhaps you seem to be coping well, but inside it’s a different story. You might recognise some of these experiences:
You may understand a lot about why you are the way you are. But understanding it hasn’t changed how it feels.
You don’t need a diagnosis or a perfectly formed explanation before beginning counselling.
Sometimes all you know is that something needs to change.
That’s enough to start.
I’m James – a BACP Registered Psychotherapeutic Counsellor offering online counselling across the UK.
I mainly work with women who are much harder on themselves than anyone realises: people living with a harsh inner critic, guilt about putting themselves first, or a sense of being pulled between different parts of themselves.
I’m particularly interested in the stories we carry about who we are, and how they quietly shape the way we treat ourselves. Often the most critical voices inside us started out as attempts to keep us safe. Therapy can be a chance to meet those parts with curiosity rather than more criticism.
My work is grounded in a person-centred approach. This means I won’t analyse you, judge you or tell you how you should live your life. Instead, we’ll work together, at your pace, to understand what’s happening beneath the surface and what you might need.
I’m warm and accepting, but not passive. I’ll listen carefully, engage honestly and gently challenge when it feels useful.
If you’re wondering whether you’d feel comfortable working with a male counsellor, that’s a completely reasonable question, and you’re welcome to talk it through on our introductory call.
💡 LEARN MORE ABOUT ME
How Counselling Can Help
When you’ve spent a long time coping, pleasing or trying to meet other people’s expectations, it can become difficult to understand what you’re actually feeling, or what you need.
Counselling gives you somewhere to slow things down.
Together, we can explore what’s happening beneath the surface, understand patterns that may be keeping you stuck, and make sense of thoughts and feelings that can be difficult to untangle on your own.
Our work might involve:
◦ Getting to know the different parts of you, such as the critic, the people-pleaser and the part that’s tired, and understanding them rather than fighting them.
◦ Developing a kinder, steadier relationship with yourself, especially when things go wrong.
◦ Loosening the grip of anxious, self-critical thoughts so they have less say over what you do.
◦ Exploring patterns that keep appearing in your relationships.
◦ Learning to notice your own needs, and to express them without guilt.
◦ Reconnecting with your values and sense of who you are.
Counselling isn’t about me telling you what to do or giving you a formula for how your life should look.
It’s about creating enough space to understand yourself more fully, recognise what may need to change, and find a way forward that feels right for you.
📞 GET IN TOUCH
What Our Sessions Will Be Like
A calm, confidential space where you won’t be judged
A therapist who listens deeply, rather than rushing to “fix” you
You set the pace and choose what to explore
Curiosity about the different parts of you, not more criticism
Gentle, experiential ways of working, only when they feel right
A warm, grounded, human approach
Areas I commonly work with
People come to counselling for all sorts of reasons, and you don’t need to fit neatly into a particular category. These are some of the experiences I most commonly work with:
Self-criticism, perfectionism & shame
You may appear confident and capable while privately being much harder on yourself than anyone realises. We can explore where those expectations come from, the pressure to get things right, and what happens when your sense of worth becomes tied to doing well or to other people’s approval.
People-pleasing, guilt & boundaries
Perhaps you find it hard to say no, worry about letting people down, or feel responsible for everyone’s feelings except your own. We can gently explore where that pattern began, what it has protected you from, and what it might be like to take up a little more space.
Feeling torn inside
Sometimes part of you wants one thing and another part wants something completely different. You might know what you need to do but feel unable to do it, or notice yourself reacting in ways that don’t feel like “you”. Rather than forcing a decision, we can get to know these different parts and understand what each of them needs.
Anxiety & overthinking
You may find it difficult to switch off, spend a lot of time worrying about what might happen, or replay conversations long after they’re over. Anxiety can also show up as tension, panic, self-doubt or a constant sense that you should be doing something.
Relationships & connection
Relationships can bring some of our most difficult patterns to the surface. We might explore conflict, emotional distance, trust, separation, difficulty expressing your needs, or why you seem to find yourself in the same situations again and again.
You don’t need to know which of these describes you before getting in touch.
Often these experiences overlap, and part of counselling can be understanding how they fit together.
📞 BOOK A FREE INTRODUCTORY CALL
Words from my Clients
Testimonials
Starting counselling can feel daunting, particularly if you haven’t worked with a therapist before. Here are some reflections clients have shared about their experience of working with me.
“Immediately I felt very comfortable with James. I feel completely able to just be myself and actually speak honestly without holding back. It’s been a crutch for a very turbulent time of my life, and useful to have someone highlighting my progress whilst also helping me remain accountable.”
Former online counselling client
“Although early days, James has already helped me. He speaks honestly and I trust him.”
Former online counselling client
“Highly recommended. This has been the first time I’ve worked with a therapist. James has been patient and thoughtful throughout and helped me think about what I want to achieve through therapy, with practical ways to do that.”
Former online counselling client
Fees & Availability
£50 per 50-minute session
I offer confidential online counselling to adults across the UK, with evening appointments Monday to Thursday.
Evening appointments
Monday to Thursday · 6pm & 7:30pm
Online throughout the UK
Sessions take place by secure video call, so you can attend from somewhere private and comfortable.
Weekly or fortnightly
Sessions take place at a regular weekly or fortnightly time, which gives our work the consistency it needs. Most people begin weekly.
No long-term commitment
There’s no requirement to commit to a set number of sessions. We’ll regularly review how the work is feeling and what you need.
Not sure whether you’re ready to book?
I offer a free introductory call before we begin. It’s a relaxed, no-obligation conversation where you can tell me a little about what’s bringing you to counselling, ask any questions you have, and get a sense of whether I might be the right counsellor for you.
£50
per 50-minute session
Online
Secure video counselling
Flexible
Weekly or fortnightly sessions
Pay As You Go
No long-term commitment required
You don’t have to do this alone
Reaching out can feel like the hardest part, especially if you’re used to putting everyone else first.
If something here resonates, trust that instinct.
When you’re ready, I’m here.